Hopeless

If the devil,
Once an angel,
Clothed in white,
Much holier than I,
Was cast out of Your presence
Because of his pride, his greed, his desire to be You,
How much more do I deserve to be thrown out of Your sight?
For through my futile attempts
To independently manage the structures of my life,
I attempt to be You:
Strong enough to get by on my own,
Yet disillusioning myself
With my own falsely painted canvas
Of unattainable hope.

[written December 13, 2010]